I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He shit in the fireplace
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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