Can Purell be used as lube?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
