I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
the liver wants what the liver wants
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
