dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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