how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Randomize
