Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
