Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
