So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
