either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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