i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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