I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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