literally had 100 drinks last night.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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