Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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