I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
