brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The best revenge is premature balding
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
