Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
