dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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