He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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