Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
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