did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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