i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
