it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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