So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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