Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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