i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
In America we eat man semen.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize
