airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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