screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize