why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
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