The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
