i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
the liver wants what the liver wants
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
