Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
whose parrot is this?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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