I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
