why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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