our cab driver is having phone sex.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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