she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just forgot I was standing up.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
