No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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