You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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