did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I don't deserve a penis
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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