I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
