I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
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omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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