Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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