im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
