u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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