Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
