Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Randomize
