before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
