Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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