the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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