Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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