yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
