I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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