I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
