Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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