garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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