He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
