I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
