So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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