I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
