I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
