she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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