We're facebook friends in real life
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Randomize
