he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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