yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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