very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Come on in and take your pants off
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