he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
