oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
