So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
